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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380957">does the body lie?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeCordelia/pseuds/CallmeCordelia'>CallmeCordelia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Trust Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:42:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeCordelia/pseuds/CallmeCordelia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Intimacy comes in many forms</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marie LaFleur (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)/Zelda Spellman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>does the body lie?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: Nothing explicit, but this fic deals with the Zelda's trauma. Self harm and issues surrounding consent are mentioned.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marie smiles, recalling the feel of soft fingers curled against her knee, utterly distracting her from the puzzle options Hilda was listing off. Zelda had been all confidence as she led the way upstairs, their half empty tumblers abandoned in favour of something far more intoxicating. Her cheeks glow at the image of velvet pooled at her feet and Zelda’s warm gaze tracing slowly down her form. 

</p><p>But now, as Zelda lies beneath her, the grip on her hips is bordering on too firm. Not painful, but desperate. Clutching, as though this touch is all that anchors Zelda to this mortal coil. Her breathing is erratic, her eyes fixed and vacant, her body trembling. The shift is instantaneous and, sadly, familiar. 

</p><p>“<i>Chérie?</i>” Nothing.

</p><p>Marie stills, her hands prying at those on her hips. The strap of Zelda’s lingerie has slipped down, drawing attention to a vicious scar on her left breast. The stilted confession from a few days ago floats through her mind. Vague and brief as it was, the explanation left Marie with a disturbing clarity regarding the nightmare that was her lover’s marriage.

</p><p>As she eases down to settle beside Zelda, she resists the urge to cradle her. Experience has taught her caution. Instead, she leans back against the headboard, watching those features that had been hauntingly blank now scrunch in confusion.

</p><p>“Marie?”

</p><p>“<i>Je suis ici, chérie</i>. You were far away.” 

</p><p>“I’m sorry. I just…” Zelda clears her head with a shake, her smile snapping back into place. Even as she works to regulate her breathing, she’s angling that distractingly beautiful décolletage toward Marie. “Where were we?” 

</p><p>“Do not be sorry.” Marie allows Zelda to straddle her lap, but holds up a hand to stay her eager touches. 

</p><p>The High Priestess takes it as an offer. Grasping Marie’s hand, she places it over her silk-clad breast and kneads herself mercilessly. The moan that falls from her lips is performative.

</p><p>Soft lips find soft cheek. “Slow down. <i>Parle moi<i>.”

</i></i></p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>“<i>J’ai envie de toi</i>.” The words are punctuated by a nip to her earlobe. 

</p><p>Zelda seducing her in French combined with the skillful way her body moves against her has heat pooling in her belly, but she reins herself in. Gently removing her hand from Zelda’s breast, Marie cups her lover’s face. “We need to stop.”

</p><p>Zelda shrinks back. “Did I- Are you alright?” 

</p><p>“I am well,” her thumb strokes over the apple of Zelda’s cheek, “but you are not. Can I get you something? Tea? A calming draught?”

</p><p>“I’m craving something a little stronger.” The seductive smirk has returned, belied by continued trembling.

</p><p>Marie once more catches those skilled hands as they seek out her body. “We need to stop.”

</p><p>“I’m fine, Marie,<i> truly</i>. I want to continue.”

</p><p>Marie releases Zelda’s hands and tucks a strand behind her ear. “But is that really what you want?”

</p><p>“What I <i>want</i> is to feel like myself again!” The ruse of seduction is given up as anger rises in its place.

</p><p>“Then let us go watch over <i>les enfants</i> or take Tom for a… a <i>walk</i> or help Hilda with that maddening puzzle. Those things are as much a part of you as sex ever was, <i>non?</i> We both know that rushing this won’t help.”

</p><p>“Rushing?! It’s been months!”

</p><p>“And you are not ready. Look at your hands, they are shaking, <i>chérie</i>.”

</p><p>Zelda dismisses with a wave. “It’s nothing. You’re overreacting.”

</p><p>“<i>Non</i>, it is not nothing and I will not be your new means of harming yourself.”

</p><p>Her lap is suddenly empty. Zelda paces, arms crossed and fingers fidgeting- for a whip or a cigarette, Marie isn’t sure. “I should never have told you those things! Should’ve known you’d use my history against me!”

</p><p>Marie knows that she is dangerously close to the edge and must tread with care. “That is not what this is. I am honoured that you entrusted me with your story, I only wish to prove worthy of that trust. Sometimes we need protection, even from ourselves.”

</p><p>“I don’t need to be patronised! What I need is for you to erase this feeling!” Marie winces as Zelda’s nails carve red streaks down her pale arms. 

</p><p>“If I could, <i>chérie</i>, I would.” She feels moisture gathering in her eyes. “My touch will not change what he did.”

</p><p>Zelda’s posture stiffens at the mention of <i>him</i>. Her chin juts out, gaze trained on the door. “And if I’m never <i>‘ready’</i> enough to satisfy you?”

</p><p>“Then we will continue as we are.” 

</p><p>“Never have sex?” Her scoff wounds Marie. “You can’t mean that.”

</p><p>“I do.”

</p><p>“Don’t insult me by concocting excuses! If you don’t want this- don’t want me- you’re free to leave!”

</p><p>“I desire you in every way, but <i>my</i> desire is not all that matters.” She waits the eternity it takes for Zelda to face her. “Although I believe you <i>want</i> to want this, that is not the same thing as desire. After what you have endured, <i>ce n'est pas surprenant</i> that the desire has left you. It may return to you someday, it may not. You cannot bring it back by forcing yourself.” 

</p><p>“You believe that I’m... that I’ll never recover.” 

</p><p>“I did not say that, <i>chérie</i>.” Her arms open, beckoning, and she nearly sags in relief at Zelda’s hesitant approach. She pauses just out of reach, deliberates, then steps between Marie’s knees and into her embrace. Marie holds with all the tenderness she knows Zelda craves as much as she rebuffs. 

</p><p>At the lightest touch to her arm, Marie releases her hold. Before she has a chance to look up, Zelda sinks back into her lap. 

</p><p>“I <i>have</i> to recover, Marie.”

</p><p>She gently brushes her fingers through red-gold curls, ghosting over the topography of her lover’s scarred back. “The healing of the mind and soul is a more complicated journey than that of the physical body. The scars run deeper. You must be patient with yourself. What you have lived through changes a person.” Marie continues to soothe as a damp cheek is buried against her shoulder. “But I believe there are good days in store for you. You will watch those babes grow and be <i>la mère</i> they deserve. You will lead your coven down a better path, a brighter one. You will help others to find healing and, in turn, heal pieces of yourself. The time will come when you will sleep through the night and smile without a hint of sadness. There will still be hard days- days when the terror hangs over you, but on those days I hope you will let me sit with you and hold your hand.”

</p><p>“You’ll tire of me. You’ll want more. <i>Please…</i>” Her voice breaks and Marie hugs harder. “Please, let’s just- let’s do it now. With you, I can- I just have to push through. It’ll get easier after the first time.”

</p><p>“<i>Never</i> will I take what is not freely and joyfully given. Not from anyone, <i>chérie</i>, but most certainly not from you. What we have now <i>c'est beau. C'est spécial.</i> It is enough for me.” 

</p><p>Zelda pulls back to fix her with that piercing green stare. Sometimes Marie forgets that, in spite of how close Zelda allows her, the walls remain. Such things are not easily breached- fortified as they are by an entire lifetime of deceit and manipulation- but somewhere behind the walls, there’s a fledgling hope.

</p><p>“I understand you find it hard to believe, but <i>you are enough</i>, Zelda, just as you are.”

</p><p>Zelda hides her doubt in the crook of Marie’s neck. Bodies entwined, they count time in breaths and beats. Eventually, Zelda goes limp and her breaths deepen. Marie presses a tender kiss into the silver-streaked red at her lover’s temple. 

</p><p>“<i>Je t'aime, ma cherie.</i>”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! I had originally hoped to finish this in time for week 2 of Mambo Marie March, but alas my schedule/brain hasn't been terribly cooperative. Regardless, I hope you're all staying safe and healthy! xx</p><p>(ma) chérie - (my) darling<br/>Je suis ici - I'm here<br/>Parle moi - talk to me<br/>J’ai envie de toi - I want you<br/>les enfants - the children<br/>Non - no<br/>ce n'est pas surprenant - it's not surprising<br/>la mére - the mother<br/>c'est beau - it's beautiful<br/>C'est spécial - It's special<br/>Je t'aime - I love you</p></blockquote></div></div>
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